


licence renewal is a bitch

by advantagetexas



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/M, Modern AU, so content warning for bureaucracy hell i guess, theyre at the dmv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 01:37:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6175093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/advantagetexas/pseuds/advantagetexas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, especially when you're stuck in the literal most boring place mankind has ever conceived, it can be really hard to avoid reading the texts of the person in front of you. That challenge is only made harder by the fact that the conversation is fucking ridiculous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	licence renewal is a bitch

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a “standing behind you in line and i’ve been reading your text argument you’ve been having with you friend and one of the insults they used made me laugh really hard” AU that I picked up from one of those tumblr posts with a bunch of "meet weird" prompts on it. Also yeah, its kinda a super rarepair, so oops?

Carolina hadn’t meant to pry, really she hadn’t. She hadn’t meant to spend almost 2 godforsaken hours in the line at the DMV looking over the shoulder of the guy in front of her, reading the argument he seemed to be having. From what she could tell it started out as a simple disagreement because the guy had apparently eaten some of the leftovers in the fridge, and his roommate was _fucking pissed_ about it. It had escalated from mild name calling to an all-out texts as big as the screen is long, personal insult filled, crossing every line in the proverbial friendship book fight.

At one point, “Grif” (which she refused to believe was this other person’s actual name) had said something similar to “well you’re a cockbite”, and the guy in front of her (whose name she still didn’t know) had replied with “at least I don’t get drunk and get stuck in the subway turnstile and call my friends to come get me out”. At that point, after being stuck in hell for the past few hours, Carolina had _almost_ lost it. She had to physically clench her jaw to keep from letting out a laugh that would’ve been loud enough to disrupt pretty much the entire line.

She was also, in trying to keep from laughing that hard and giving away the fact that she’d been looking over his shoulder like a creep, completely unprepared for the reply, in all caps, of “YOU WERE STUCK ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT TURNSTILE YOU MOTHERFUCKER, AND SITTING ON THE FLOOR CRYING WAS NOT HELPING THE SITUATION”.

At which point she let out the _ugliest, loudest, most obnoxious_ laugh that pretty much drew all the attention in the room momentarily to her, including the guy in front of her turning around with an incredulous look on his face. Honestly, she couldn’t really boil down his reaction to that, he seemed almost scared?

“A-are you okay, miss?” he asked, glancing quickly from the desk behind her, to the posters on the wall, to basically anywhere that wasn’t actually _at_ her.

“Yeah, sorry. I’ve uh, god this sounds creepy, but I’ve kinda been reading your argument over your shoulder?” she says apologetically, feeling especially bad when he visibly cringes in embarrassment. “I mean, I wasn’t trying to get into your business or anything, just…y’know, not much else to do.”

“Oh, n-no problem,” he says, looking up, almost on accident, before looking away again. If she was being honest, he didn’t look half bad. Well, that was a little unfair, he was actually kinda cute in an “oh god I haven’t seen the sun in weeks, and if I got into a fight all my bones would break because I’m just that scrawny” type of way.

“I should probably introduce myself after all that mess, right? I’m Carolina,” she says, putting out her hand. He awkwardly reaches forward and shakes it, his hand limp, vaguely sweaty and warm.

“I’m uh, I’m Simmons,” he offers, putting his hands back into his pockets and seeming both supremely uncomfortable and completely interested in whatever she had to say.

“That’s weird for a first name,” Carolina says, and before Simmons can open his mouth to reply, the speakers overhead crackle to life.

“Richard Simmons to line 6 please, Richard Simmons,” the desk clerk says disinterestedly, as Carolina tries to stifle another laugh.

“I um, I have to- I mean, that’s me, so…” Simmons trails off, hooking a thumb over his shoulder at the several other full lines behind him.

“Right, you should probably go do that. But uh, hey, hold on a second,” Carolina says, fumbling a pen and a receipt out from the pocket of her jacket. She writes her number down on the back, and hands it to him, his freckle-covered face turning a shade of deep red. “You should text me sometime so I can properly apologize for being such a creepy weirdo today.”

“Right, I’ll uh, I’ll text you later then. It was nice, uh, um,” Simmons stumbles, before eventually just walking away entirely, pushing through the line to get to wherever he was supposed to be going as Carolina allowed herself a little giggle at his expense.

\------------------

Later that night, just as Carolina was settling down for dinner, a bowl of pasta in her lap as she curled up on the couch, the quiet chimes of her cell phone sounded, and she reached across her coffee table to get it. There was a new text from an unsaved number, and she smiled to herself, just a little bit.

609-579-1233: Hello, this is Simmons from the DMV earlier? I’m sorry you had to see that argument, it got quite heated, actually.

609-698-8636 (Carolina): Oh, no worries! It was actually a really nice distraction from the eternal hellscape of boredom that we were stuck in.

After that, she set the phone down, not hearing it again until almost half an hour later.

609-579-1233 (Simmons): You know, I’m gonna be honest, I’m kinda lost for a reply to that? I honestly didn’t think I would get this far.

609-698-8636 (Carolina): Well, maybe we can meet up for lunch sometime and you can fully explain that subway story to me?

609-579-1233 (Simmons): Oh god, I mean, yeah, that’d be great. I just have to warn you, I’m not exactly, well, I’m kindof

609-579-1233 (Simmons): I don’t even know how to explain this to be quite honest.

609-698-8636 (Carolina): A little socially awkward? Yeah, I kinda figured that from the way you just kinda walked away without saying anything earlier.

609-579-1233 (Simmons): Yeah, god, I’m really sorry about that I just have a really tough time talking sometimes? Specifically to people of your…persuasion, I guess would be the word?

609-698-8636 (Carolina): It’s totally fine, I think everyone has at least a bit of trouble talking to girls.

There’s another pause, even longer this time, and just before Carolina heads off to sleep, her phone goes off again.

609-579-1233 (Simmons): Correction: I have trouble talking to very pretty girls, like yourself. Are you free for lunch tomorrow, at maybe like, 12? I know this great place by the beach that we could go to?

609-698-8636 (Carolina): Sounds great to me!


End file.
